Sometimes when I am feeling stressed and just want the day to be over I try to take a deep breath and look at the big picture. I call it the “Next Tomorrow” theory. It’s not about procrastination. Procrastination only makes things worse. Procrastination gives problems time to build up a little problem army so that they can jump you all at once. The idea comes from the thought that its tomorrow already. The next tomorrow I can enjoy life if I get things accomplished today. The next tomorrow is just around the bend in the rails and I really don’t have much time to wait or waste.
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Here Be Dragons
Disclaimer- the later portion of this article uses the real life example of experienced Native American Alligator Wranglers. I am in no way encouraging a novice to engage in combat with a dangerous predator.
In the days before the internet I was the type of person who would spend all day in a library. I would look through the old dusty and neglected books trying to find something interesting and unique. I developed an interest for odd subjects like Ufos, cryptozoology, mythos and the legends from around the world. The heroes and heroines of the stories would always rise to the challenge. It’s overcoming the challenge that makes life interesting. We as human beings need just the right amount of struggle to make ourselves strong. We need adventure and exploration just as much as we need food,shelter, water and love. We need monsters and dragons to vanquish. Yesterday, I wrote about finding validation within yourself and the false sense of self worth based on the approval of the crowd. That sense of validation comes from slaying your own dragons and advancing to the next level. Nobody in the crowd knows what challenges you have faced. Nobody else has stood in your place and faced your dragon or felt the heat of its breath. All they know is if they were present on the day that you got final victory.
On that note I need to make a very important point. Sometimes the dragon wins. But, he can’t hold out forever. If the dragon doesn’t fall and you go home that day with your armor dented and your lance blunted it’s not over unless you give up. You overcome by repairing your arms and armor and adjusting your tactics.
The image above was taken in South Carolina at a reptile farm. The water is full of the American Alligator. Native Americans wrestled with them and still do for tourists in some places. The jaws snap like a trap and when they do the crushing force is measured in tons. And yet once the mouth is shut it can be kept closed with one hand. The savvy warrior has learned that if he can just keep the mouth from biting long enough that the beast will get tired and be slain at leisure. The warriors learned to overcome by simply not giving up.
The Last Game
One of my private clients had me to follow his last season of high school football (American football) last Fall. After the last touchdown of the last game between rivals was over I was left with a bittersweet feeling. This was my home team and I played the same game in front of the same fans thirty years ago. As the crowd left the stands I gathered my camera equipment and prepared to catch the emotions outside of the locker room. I looked up and there was something iconic about the bag of popcorn left behind by a fan. I began to think about how important the game was when I played. Memories of “glory days ” gone by began to fill my mind. I had based my entire sense of self worth on the approval of the crowd. When it was over I was left with an emptiness and doubt. That’s the problem with depending on the crowd for validation. It doesn’t matter if it’s a sports team or a job or anything else. When the crowd leaves they take their approval with them and when there’s no more games or someone else is more skilled comes along all your left with is an empty stadium. But, if you base your self worth on what you have accomplished and your ability to take on the next challenge the approval of the crowd makes no difference. Your self worth comes from inside you and while there will still be disappointment and things that you wish had been different the crowd can’t take that from you. I think something that Bruce Lee was once credited with was the thought, Paraphrasing,”A trophy is just a hunk of metal. It’s what’s inside you that counts and if you know what it is then it doesn’t matter if the judges approve”. (As best as I can remember). And, it’s not success that determines what’s inside you. Sometimes the other person is just better. But, if you give your best efforts and try to improve then you’ve got good stuff inside.
International Women’s Day
I’ve have always been blessed to be surrounded by beautiful women my whole life. From my mother who raised me to my wife that loves me in spite of imperfection. Thank you to all the friends, coworkers and “adopted sisters” have truly enriched my life.
Thank you, each and every one of you. ❤
A Gathering
Friends gather to enjoy the warm sun and retell old stories. Perhaps he’ll recount the story about escaping from a hungry bird. She’ll tell the one about the sweetest bloom ever. There’s love and laughter in the warm sun. There will be a game of chase and spectacular aerial dances between sips of nectar. Life returns to the meadow and all is right with the world.
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