George the mallard has been scavenging the park all morning. He’d had quite a bit of luck finding scraps left behind by the humans. Humans are always dropping their food in the water or on the ground. They didn’t really seem to mind when he waddled up and claimed what they dropped. Sometimes they even shared with him.
As he was making his way across the parking lot of the park he spotted a large male human straddling a motorcycle. Parts of the motorcycle were so shiny that he could see his own face in them. George carefully approached the big man from behind pausing for a moment to practice his “hungry face” in the reflection of big shiny pipe near the back of the bike. He tried to make his cheeks hollow and his eyes sad. Then he circled around wide and stood in front of the man. The biker wore black leather and was covering his eyes with dark glasses. In his hands was a crinkly bag full of something crunchy. George’s mouth began to water with anticipation of whatever the large human was enjoying. “Excuse me sir, might I have a taste of the crunchy stuff in your bag?” He asked politely. But all the human understood was a series of low quacking sounds. The human took another big bite out of the bag. Once more George made a polite inquiry and started walking in circles to get the biker’s attention. The big man smiled. “My friend, are you sure that this what you want?” He asked. George responded with excitement and was quacking like crazy. The big biker gave George a doubtful look but even though he looked big and scary he had a soft spot in his heart for wildlife. He dropped a single reddish colored chip in front of George. The chip never hit the ground. George swooped in like a falcon on the hunt and started to grind the chip in his bill. But something was wrong. George’s tongue began to burn and his eyes watered for real. It wasn’t an ordinary chip. It was a flaming hot red pepper pork rind! George took off like a rocket and dove head first into the water. He opened his bill as wide as he could shaking his face under the water. He felt like he had drank half of river before the spice relented. As George relaxed and began to recover Ralph paddled up to him. Once he saw that his friend was going to be okay Ralph gave George two pieces of advice. Be careful what you wish for and beggars can’t be choosers. After a long while George began working the crowd at the park again. It’s just part of being a duck and he couldn’t be a successful duck without the resources of the local humans. However, was never as greedy as to accept what was given without first making sure that it was something that he actually wanted. And his friend the biker began to make sure that he had a small pouch of rolled oats to share with the ducks from that day on. In fact, every Saturday without fail his Harley Davidson rolled up to edge of water and waited for George to show up.
* If you like to feed ducks at your local park please don’t give them bread because it can make them sick. Oats, cracked corn and regular bird seed are all acceptable. After writing this I did a quick search. It seems that hot peppers are regularly given to chickens but a few sources said that ducks won’t touch anything with peppers in it. Things Are Just Ducky is of course fictional and intended to be pure entertainment.
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